After many months of development and careful consideration, we have decided to move away from modern SQL database systems and return to a simpler and more traditional approach.

Effective immediately, all player, item, quest and account data will now be stored using a combination of:

• Microsoft Access 2012
• JSON files
• CSV exports
• Windows Notepad backups
• Several folders called “New Folder (2)”
• A USB memory stick currently located somewhere in the development office

This decision was made after extensive testing demonstrated that randomly copying files between directories provided approximately the same level of reliability as our previous development process.

Additional improvements include:

• Character saves every 17 minutes whether required or not.
• Gold balances stored in an Excel spreadsheet.
• Guild data protected by a password written on a Post-It note.
• Item ownership verified by asking players politely.
• Server backups performed by taking screenshots of SQL Server Management Studio.

To improve performance, all monsters will now be loaded from a single text file named:

monsterlist_final_v7_final_FIXED_USE_THIS_ONE.txt

Players should also be aware that all future patches will be distributed on a collection of CDs included with selected breakfast cereals.

We appreciate your patience during this transition and look forward to bringing Legend of Mir technology standards firmly back to 2003.

Happy April Fools’ Day.

The SQL server is staying exactly where it is.